The Pros and Cons of Eloping: Elope or Nope?
The one gift we can thank the pandemic for is that micro weddings and elopements are on the rise. You might be deciding between planning a big celebration for next year, eloping, or a double feature wedding combo. It’s a big decision and you and your fiancé might not be on the same page - so here are some pros and cons of eloping to help you decide what’s best for you.
For the record, I wanted to elope. My parents eloped at age 22, and it sounded like the most romantic thing. Running away to exchange vows without the expensive frills, the pre-planned and cookie-cutter parties, and all of the seemingly unnecessary distractions from each other as a couple has to be marriage in its purest form, right? Well, I realized very quickly that I was only one half of the decision...and my fiancé did not want to “run away” with me from all of the fun that comes from a full wedding ceremony and celebration. Hey, marriage is a compromise!
In the thick of a global pandemic, eloping became a very real option. So, if you and your fiancé aren’t on the same page about how this shindig should go down, here is some guidance on how to use your top priorities to make the right decision:
Reason to elope: The Timeline
Large gatherings across the United States have been restricted by the CDC and enforced statewide. There is so much uncertainty around when 100+ people gatherings will even be able to take place again. If your top priority as an engaged couple is to just be married, eloping is probably on the table. As restrictions slowly get lifted in the following months, eloping with an officiant and a couple witnesses can be done pretty much whenever, wherever. If you can’t stand to wait, pull the trigger and elope ya crazy kids!
Reason NOT to elope: The Legality
Eloping can be a well-thought-out international adventure or a spur of the moment trip to the courthouse—but do keep in mind when considering the pros and cons of eloping that there are sometimes up to 3 day waiting periods before you can obtain a marriage license. In the wake of the coronavirus, some town halls are closed and unable to issue marriage licenses. Before you roll out of bed and jump in the car, make sure you take a second to research the marriage laws and restrictions in the city or town you plan to tie the knot in. In some cases, you need to schedule your own officiant (usually from a recommended list from the city or town) and two witnesses well ahead of time. Not as easy these days with social distancing. If that doesn’t sound as romantic as you thought, take your time and plan something that does feel really special.
Reason to elope: The Guest List Drama
Don’t even know where to start (or end) with your guest list? You might be in that gray area with extended family, coworkers, plus ones...what a headache. With tight restrictions on guest counts, this can become an even tougher challenge. Say sayonara to any guest list stress by eloping. And if you can’t possibly imagine getting hitched without your mother and best friend, bring them along as your socially distant witnesses!
Reason NOT to elope: The Guest List Guilt
Let’s say grandma is the most important person in your life and family tradition is very important to her—you might want to bend here and not elope. Especially since keeping your distance from your elderly loved ones is top priority right now. Or, you might have a big fat Greek family who would disown you if you did this without them. At the end of the day your wedding should be everything you want and more, but still not at the risk of losing your family over it.
Reason to elope: The Budget!
Don’t give yourself a heart attack with this math, but according to The Knot World Wide’s findings, the average wedding cost per head was $232 in 2019. Assuming you invite 150 guests at $232 per head, you could be out of pocket a hefty $34,800. If you can’t swing it and don’t want to ask your family for the loan, then this surely is a great perk that comes with elopement.
Reason NOT to elope: The Gifts
Wielding a scanner gun in your favorite store is a thrill that can only be described as blissful consumer domination! If you elope, you can most likely kiss goodbye registering at Crate and Barrel, or starting a fund for a new house off of donations from your wedding guests. Remember that friends and family are only expected to send gifts if they are invited to an actual wedding. A lot of couples really rely on these gifts as they start their married lives together.
Reason to elope: The Fear of Attention
The thought of walking down an aisle in four-inch heels while also trying not to cry sounds absolutely terrifying to a lot of brides. If that’s you, do yourself a favor and take it to the courthouse (or a deserted beach at sunset! See “A Change of Scenery” in my 10 Ways to Have a Truly Stand-Out Wedding post).
Reason NOT to elope: Your Time to Shine!
On the other hand, if you’ve been waiting your whole life to be the centerpiece of YOUR big day, this is a no brainer. Sometimes having all eyes on you walking down the aisle to your prince or princess just can’t be beat.
Reason to elope: A No-Fuss Wardrobe
When considering the pros and cons of eloping, think about your ideal wardrobe. You might be a really casual person and don’t see the fun in dressing up. The beauty of elopement is that NO ONE CARES what you wear (except maybe your future spouse…?!). Think outside the box — there are some darling, casual elopement outfits that you probably already have in your closet. Don’t forget that your mask is an accessory now, too. Here’s a little bridal mask inspo to get you excited about the possibilities!
Reason NOT to elope: The Dream Dress
You may crave that intimate dress buying experience with family and friends. If that’s the case, you probably won’t be buying off the rack. Bridal gowns can take months for designers to make, followed by upwards of five fittings with your seamstress. In that case, some more thought and preparation may be necessary. For so many brides, this is the item that they think of when they envision their wedding, and having a full-out wedding is the perfect place to show a gown off.
Ultimately the choice to elope lies with you and your future spouse alone. Take a step back and identify what is most meaningful to both of you and place your own weights on these pros and cons of eloping. Think hard about what you want to remember from your wedding day. Do this, and you’ll have no regrets! Oh, and if you need a little help some wedding planners offer elopement packages to make the day extra magical.
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